When our children are the therapy we need

Raising children is hard work. From the time they are born they seem to demand all our time and attention. Having children often seems like a thankless task – a one way outpouring of energy.

Looking after preschoolers is also a real challenge, especially when you are working and running a household. It is very difficult to find time for all the things that you need to do on a daily basis, much less for spending time on yourself – getting refreshed and doing things that you love.

I spent the first portion of my time as a mom secretly fighting against this reality in myself. Feeling hard done by and wanting to return to how things were before I had kids.

During my teaching years I have attended a couple training sessions on play therapy as well the importance of play in the lives of children. There are many aspects of play that are therapeutic and energizing to children. It stimulates their imaginations, helps them to develop problem solving skills, as well as to develop meaningful relationships with others. Not to mention giving them an outlet for negative emotions and helping them to unwind.

It has struck me that perhaps the role of play is important for us as adults too. Too many of us are too serious, working over time and not wanting to take a break. We get irritated when our kids want us to play with them and feel like it is taking away from our productivity. I know that I have often endured short play sessions with my kids just because I ‘have to’.

What seems like a contradiction to me, though, is the fact that many of the things our kids want us to do with them are the very things we need for our own well-being and therapy.

One of my friends pointed this out to me when she said that parents wouldn’t need to buy grown up colouring-in books to help themselves relax if they just spent time colouring in with their own children. Brainwave!

Some of the things we need are the very things our kids want us to do with them.

We need exercise – they want us to run and play ball games with them.

We need time escaping from reality – they want us to play imaginative games.

We need time outdoors – they want us to come outside with them.

We need to laugh – they want to play games and be silly.

We need to connect with our creative side – they want us to make and create with them.

We need time to disconnect from technology – they want us to put our phones down.

What if our kids are actually meant to be part of the solution to meeting our needs, not the cause of them?

Yes, I do believe that it is healthy for parents to find time away from their kids. And that we do not need to play with our kids all day. But what if our children are also trying to call us to health and rest when we need it? Yes, it is often inconvenient, but what would happen if we were to put down what we were doing and actually joined them in their games from time to time? What if we let them take us into their worlds for a moment without constantly trying to get back to our tasks?

Maybe it would be the very therapy we need.