When learning feels like failing

There have been a number of times that I have made a life change or put myself in a challenging situation in order to learn something new. My first year of teaching was such an experience. I was desperate to learn and to grow as much as I possibly could in my first year. And I got exactly that.

I started with the largest class in the school and a number of challenging kids. Not to mention the challenge of trying to get myself past some of my own weaknesses in bringing routine and order. I realized that learning is not as glamorous as it seems. 

I constantly felt like I was failing. At every little thing. Every thing I did not yet know or had not learnt to do. It wasn’t a pleasant experience. It was most discouraging and extremely demotivating. Especially when I felt like I was trying my hardest. Getting up again at the start of each new day to try a new approach and to overcome the various challenges was really hard. I felt like my personal weaknesses were only becoming worse as they were highlighted in this environment. I definitely couldn’t see that I was actually growing or improving from this new experience. 

Over the years I have realized how normal this is. In order to learn and grow we have to first fail. We have to be brave enough to put ourselves in places where we will not always get everything right. If we never fail it means that we are never attempting something beyond our reach. Over time, with practice, we can master new skills, learn from those around us and train ourselves into new habits and ways that we never had before. 

A year ago I arrived in another new teaching job – 10 years later. My new environment highlighted once again many things I still have to learn (and will probably fail at in the process) but I have also been encouraged because it has also highlighted the many things I have learnt and become good at over the years. Some of the very things that I continually failed at have become my greatest strengths and areas I can help others in. I am not the same person I used to be and I have most certainly grown. 

So it is my mission to remind myself of this regularly. To keep myself encouraged and motivated in the middle of inability and failure – that as I keep applying myself I will be a different person on the other side. 

As I begin this new year am I willing again to get out of what is comfortable and continue growing? Or will I stick to what I know?